907 Plans NOT To Break Up
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: “You know, Shika-kun… If all of those 907 plans of yours revolve around sex, I think I may have to hurt you.”


_Munch munch munch swallow  
_  
Hazel brown eyes watched the spandex clad man commit the good guy pose and swear to the kazekage that he would most definitely win their next sparring match or else run five laps from Suna to Konoha on his hands within two days.

_Munch munch munch swallow_

Said Kazekage merely stood there, arms crossed over his broad chest as he gave the raven haired man a level stare from darkly shadowed blue-green eyes.

_Munch munch munch swallow_

His fingers caressed the opening of the barbeque flavored chip bag, hazel brown eyes blinking with confusion as he studied this strange and new relationship. One that demanded challenges and discipline.

_Munch munch munch swallow_

The green wearing man became a very dark red that matched the color of the kazekage's hair, pitch black eyes widening as his mouth gaped open and he just stood there as if he had no idea what to do. The kazekage didn't seem to care; not that his suggestion for what Lee could do if he failed again should have been spoken behind closed doors, nor that he had just said them while in the company of many of their friends, who all now either laughed good naturedly or turned to gape at the couple.

_Munch munch munch swallow_

Hazel brown eyes turned to cinnamon brown eyes with questions in his own, still chewing on his favorite treat. The owner of the cinnamon brown eyes released an annoyed sigh, tangling his fingers together behind his head and allowed himself to fall backwards from his sitting position so he was laying down.

"What a drag… That's an image I didn't need to think of." He untangled his fingers to rub at the bridge of his nose, his eyes scrunched closed as if he were attempting rid himself of the visual.

Hazel brown eyes crinkled at the edges as he gave an understanding smile, turning his bag of chips towards his companion so he could have at them. The dark-cherry-red haired boy gave a grunt of appreciation, his other hand slipping out from beneath his head to snag at a few of the small greasy treats.

"I think it's cute that they're so open about their relationship." The dark honey haired boy stated, hazel brown eyes shutting at his smile grew larger, pushing his chubby cheeks up in such a cute manner, it would be considered childish. His baby face held red swirls on each of his cheeks, his long wild hair held back by a red head protector with the mark of his home village scarred deeply into it.

"I think it's bothersome. _And_ troublesome." He tossed a chip into his mouth, silencing himself with the snack as he refolded his hands beneath his head, his eyes shut against the noonday sun that was only temporarily obscured by passing clouds.

The honey haired boy gave a small laugh at that, like a cat mewling. "So it's so bothersome, it's troublesome? _That_ doesn't happen often!"

"They have just as large a chance of killing each other than of living their lives together." The dark haired boy muttered, slitting his eyes open to watch the clouds pass by.

"You haven't said anything about them breaking up, though." The honey haired boy pointed out tellingly, watching as the raven haired boy waved his hands furiously before himself to attempt to ward off Yaoi fans that now stared at him and the kazekage with extensive nosebleeds and goo-goo eyes. Right before they pounced, there was a streak of green and then the spandex clad boy had left, no sign behind himself that he had ever been except for the large number of bemused fan girls and his lover staring blankly after him before disappearing in a small storm of sand.

"There's no such thing as the perfect relationship." His companion said simply in reply, as if it explained everything.

Which it did, if who he spoke to knew him well enough. Which the honey haired boy did… More than well enough, actually.

He smiled again as he tapped a finger to the genius's nose, holding a chip between his thumb and forefinger as he did so. The other opened his mouth willingly, eyes shut once more as he just basked in his own laziness. The chip dropped into his mouth. He chewed contently.

"Yeah… How about us?" He teased, a breeze hitting against his red armor and clothing, swishing his hair gently as the same breeze taunted the hem of his companion's shirt.

One eye opened slowly, staring directly into hazel brown eyes. He shrugged, even as he offered a smirk. "We're not perfect, but we're so damn close, it's not even bothersome."

A dusting of red appeared over the honey haired boy's cheeks as the darker haired boy winked at him, hazel brown eyes widening somewhat at the tease. And then he chuckled, his fingers stroking the bag he held lovingly between his hands. "And them?"

His lover turned his eyes to sky once more, yawning widely as he bent one leg at the knee. "They're what they need to be. There's always a large chance couples are going to break up, no matter how good they are for each other (how troublesome). For them… I'd guess one of them would end up killing the other before there could be an official breakup…"

"… And us?"

"I'm already 37 steps ahead of that. I have precisely 907 plans devised if you leave me or vice versa."

He blinked, staring down at the lazy genius for a long moment. "… Are we going to be breaking up any time soon?"

"If you wake up and you're stuck in one of the shadow Justus as well as tied to our bed, then you were on the verge of breaking up with me." He said it simply, as if he was telling the honey haired boy something bland that had happened to him that day.

Again, hazel brown eyes blinked as his hand delved into the bag of chips. "… What happens if you're the one going to break up with me?"

The dark-cherry-red haired boy yawned again, placing his leg flat against the ground as he bent his other leg instead. "See aforementioned plan; add your _already_ having a sore ass into the mix."

Hazel brown eyes stared down at his lover, a chip touching his lips. He chewed it slowly, thinking about what the lazy genius had just said.

_Munch munch munch swallow_

He tapped a finger to his lover's nose, another chip held between his forefinger and his thumb. The laze genius opened his mouth willingly, eyes shut as he awaited his treat.

Damn his geniusness, but the honey haired boy had this overwhelming feeling that he had seen this coming.

He had meant to touch his lips chastely to the other and then pull away, a tease for the 'plans' his lover had in store if they were ever to breakup. Sadly, nothing seemed to go unplanned in the genius's mind. Because the kiss stopped being chaste fast as a hand rose languidly to wrap around a long strand of honey brown hair and twist, pulling his face to an angle the dark eyed boy preferred.

When he managed to pull away, there was a red hue over his entire face, and his lover was smirking once more, lazily taking the somehow unharmed chip from his hand and tossing it into his mouth as he then went about pulling a pack of cigarettes from his vest pocket and proceeded to light one, swallowing before he put the cancer stick to his lips and took a deep drag.

"Thought you knew teasing me by now just gets you in trouble, Chouji."

Chouji gave a small nervous laugh, his heart doing a small fluttering dance as his ever beloved butterflies took residence in his belly. "Yeah… I think I do know that, Shika-kun."

The other gave a subtle snort as he relaxed once more, his cancer stick sending smoke up as Chouji watched the grey smoke twirl and float.

"So… Let's say I want to break up… like right now… What one of those 907 plans would you use?" His tone was both curious and sensual… If ever sensual could be used to name an emotion spoken by the large butterfly loving man. It was obvious he was making a coy suggestion, none the less.

"See plan 397... " His hand reached into Chouji's bag of chips, pulling one of the treats out as Shikamaru's other hand undid his pants and pulled them off to show his bare member. Go figure that the lazy genius found it too troublesome to wear underpants.

He set the treat flaccid member which then twitch and seemed to rise like the living dead, the chip balanced precariously on it's tip. Shikamaru placed both his hands behind his head as he laid back down again, unashamed and entirely untroubled by his immodesty.

Chouji choked, looking from his lover to where their friends were down the hill and some distance away. From their high perch, there was a high chance they could not be seen; but _still_! His trembling hand slid into his bag, groping around for another chip… Just to find that there was none left. His eyes darted to his lover's smug expression. The bastard _knew_.

"And you can't use your hands."

Chouji was a very interesting shade of red, nearly matching Lee's earlier expression, before he resigned himself to his fate, leaning down to wrap his tongue under his treat, subsequently rubbing it against the head of Shikamaru' erection, before snagging it into his mouth, chewing slowly as he glared up at the genius's face.

"You know, Shika-kun… If all of those 907 plans of yours revolve around sex, I think I may have to hurt you."

"Only 906 have to do with sexual acts." A hand wrapped itself into Chouji's hair once more, Shikamaru's hips thrusting up against the honey haired boy's lips. "Plan 907 is for extremely desperate measures."

Chouji was careful to speak through his teeth instead of opening his mouth, even as he darted a tongue out to pick up precum before retreating once more. "And that would be…?"

"I'll get you pregnant."

"WHA- MM!"

Somehow, he didn't doubt that his lover could do it. … Which was when a thought occurred to him.

He raised his head from the now red and wet member, eyes narrowed on his lover's face. "That still revolves around sex."

"I know. Plan 906 involves implanting a temporary uterus within your abdomen after tricking you to extend the size of your belly so it can fit without doing internal damage. _That _is the plan that involves no sex." He caressed a hand through the wild strands of honey hair, his hips rotating into and out of Chouji's mouth as the other suckled and swallowed around it. "Still feel like breaking up with me?"

Chouji had to admit… No, he most certainly did not…

Gods forbid he be the first man to carry a child.

* * *

XD I felt like doing something different… I love gaalee with all of my heart, but I felt like I was working myself into a rut with it. 42 stories, one of them a conjoined work, two of them incomplete, and it's all nothing but gaalee! I wanted to do something new before I got bored with them… Which would have been terrible and heartbreaking. But, of course, I could not stop myself from at least mentioning them! ShikaChou, in that order, is the next best thing for me aside from GaaLee.

Hehehehehe… Moral of the story? Never break up with Shikamaru.


End file.
